I am the Hoggish!

Another interval in my life which I think the most exigent for me to deal with… 2 love in 1 time sound a bit thorny for you to imagine how hard am I going through every part of it.. My hearts were sliced into pieces but in the same time, controlling my patient is the most contemptible thing that I ever did to myself. When you love someone that u really love with, it is easy for you to be what I cal super susceptible person on earth. Every movement and every word that came out from your mouth it easily touched people heart. Whether for good or bad you will still touch it.

Being someone who put you as a 2^nd, part in his life is not easy to handle with and what I am going through right now is the most hectic chapter ever. Feel a bit demoralize and tension but I think this is normal but how u can engross that think from manipulating yourself is a bit stupid because you already know the answer and you already know the consequences yet you still want to gone through all the sadden part.

In the mean time I just can pray to GOD and ask if I can be a little bit more stronger that what I am today and rain me with the glee which I am looking for it not only for me but for someone who I can share the special moment with and stay on ground with my own feet to feel the exhilaration of being the most jovial human on earth with someone that I love … If you ever read my blog, just want you to know how much I love you and how hard for me to make this relation going smoother without any interruption from outside. In addition, just want to know that I am really2 sorry if I let you down and doing something wrong in time when we are still new in this relation.

It has been 4 years since the first email that I got from my Mailbox, which started our banter and become what we are today... Glad to have you in my life and hopefully nothing going change you for me...

Hurmmmm!

No matter what happen I dun want to loose you and I cannot think about other way from not getting you out of my mind. In the mean time, I just follow the gush because I know how hard the day would be if one day I have to let you go and will never get you back.

The seeds are mounting and the sparks has seen such a beautiful evolution for us to let the sun shine beyond the sky. In addition, I always pray and ask if I could ever let this thing to be a perfect moment in my life and let it be forever. Only god who has the power to relocate the activity of the human and the temperament as what it has to be...


And the journey begins…

Sadden Truth

After a long relation between you and me and after a long journey that we get through, it is time for me to tell you that I am in love with you. Nevertheless, it will never been the same as if I could really hug you in my arm... Sad by knowing that you belong to someone else...Since we know each other for almost 3 years, I never visualize that we can be this closed and will had this kind of sensation but deep inside I kept to myself that It will never ever happened if I ever knew that you’re attached. From day to day and time to time, this feeling is going deeper and deeper as I feel u everywhere I go and I cannot stop myself from thinking about you.

Hoping to be the other half is the most enthralling things in my life after what I been through before and hope the new life will make me feel more happy yet I have to admit that the moment is not yet to come. I am aiming to high, as I know that we will never touch the skies together. In other assertion that we had and bring out all the feeling that we have. Collaborating every moment that we spent together does not change what you have in your life.

Me in your heart must be less significant than what you already locked up deep inside your heart. The truth is, I love you and I want you to be with me and I would ever forgive myself from loosing you but the fact is I have to admit that I will lose you one day. Just want you to know that it is hard for me to love someone and it is not easy for me to be apart.

TO BE CONTINUED

Kuala Lumpur to Oceania

The first night was suck as i can't even close my eyes ... furthermore i need to wake up at 4am for my Clark flight and i still can chat with some of my colleague through my Blackberry.. I don't know what the hell I'm thinking of until the view port is still clear for another episode.

My mind keep processing up and down and the only thing in my mind it's only him. Kinda weird to have this kind of thing but yeah it's still remain as it be. 2hrs it's consider enough for me to take a nap and recharge my body for the long journey back to Philippine.Every i do is like hell ... almost forgot that i left my wallet at home as i almost half of the journey to my workplace.. shit eit' this is the 1st time ever which i really mess up everything in the nightly morning.

The 45mins journey has been cut short to be only 26mins for me to be at the office and just i passed through the gate i immediately sent out a text long way to Oceania while he was still asleep saying that i miss him and hope he will feel the same as i am.. dragging everything inside me and hold it tight in and release everything out slowly... "hope he will be fine there"

Hurmmmmm

Missing you..

Today is the most lonely day for me as he will be away for quite sometimes and maybe i would never have time to meet him and be with him about a month ... how sad will it be and i can't imagine that we only can hear each other voice and text from the phone.
Started to miss him and thinking about him everyday and sometime i think if one day i would never meet him again and talk with him like we did everyday..

How sad to know that he actually belongs to someone else who deserve him better than me ... i dun have the answer and only him will know it and i will wait for the time for him to confess me about his feeling and our status... well i can only put myself 4 out of 10 as he still attached with his crush. and me, still counting the days and ticking the time and wait until the answer came to me...... click clock click clock...